A wonderful list of rules, most of which I subscribe to without hesitation. Here’s a sample:
Vodka and Coke? That better be a joke.
Buy someone a drink because you want to drink with that person. It’s a sign of respect and enjoyment. Never do it for the sake of reciprocation and never expect something in return.
“Sorry, I was drunk,” is never an excuse. Ever.
Never get to the point of throwing up. If it accidentally happens, it better be in the bar bathroom. If you’re in the bathroom, always in the toilet — never in the sink or urinal. If there is mess in any way, shape or form, grab a mop. It is nobody’s job to clean up your bodily fluids. Did your friend throw up? Someone in your party is responsible for clean-up.
There is no shame in getting punched if you are conspicuously trying to break up a fight. […] Additionally, it would be wise to head to another establishment.
Never drop a drink into a drink. Never light anything on fire. Never slam your shot glass on the bar.
Alcohol doesn’t do certain things to certain people. If somebody claims that tequila makes them violent, it’s because they’re a violent person. Simple as that.
Make your own toasts. Sentimentality is good. Honesty is good. Poignant is good. Repeating what somebody else said is a quote, not a toast.
Published: Monday, 14th June 2010 at 4:11 PM
By day, he works for ABC TV as a web developer. By night, he plays bass guitar in Look Who's Toxic. He also runs a little Unix Timestamp conversion site. There are plenty of other things he should be doing, but most of the time he's dreaming of what he'll do when he grows up while watching bad Star Trek spin-offs.
